As with all sexual activity, there are safety concerns to think about when engaging in kink. There is a lot of misinformation out there, like the idea that kink is an inherently risky activity.
Kink doesn’t have to be a big scary thing hanging over you - ideally, it is there to provide you a safe space to explore your desires and sexuality. So, it’s important that all participants feel safe (in any sexual scenario, not just kink!). However, there are some ways to approach safety that are specific to kinky activities. If you’ve ever wondered how to discuss safety and kink with your sexual partner(s), here are our top tips:
Consent
Consent is never implied - it is generally understood in the kink community that consent is an important discussion between partners and that it is ongoing. Saying “yes” to one activity does not imply a “yes” for all other sexual activity. It is crucial to negotiate consent before a scene and go over each participant’s limits and to check in during the scene as well.
Safe Word
You may have heard of the idea of a safe word before. A safe word is a clear signal to everyone involved in a scene to slow down or stop play. Basically, you choose a word that is short and easy to remember and make sure everyone involved in a scene is aware before play begins. You can pick whatever word you like, or use the words stop/no (although, if part of your play involves saying stop or no and having the person continue, you should choose another word).
Aftercare
Aftercare is a post-play check-in, where partners give time and attention to each other to wrap up the scene and make sure everyone is feeling safe and comfortable. It can include cuddling, discussing the scene, drinking water, eating a snack, or something else. There aren’t rules for what you “have” to do for aftercare because everyone is different, but the end goal should be to communicate and make sure everyone is feeling good and taken care of.
With these tips in mind, hopefully kink feels a bit more approachable and less intimidating. Remember, consent is paramount, and communication is key in kink!
